Gold Digging 101 Parts II

As promised, here's the second part:

The Hunt

1. Get your priorities straight: Before unleashing your seduction prowess, make sure you know exactly what you want out of your next relationship. A man worth $10,000, $100,000, $1 million or an international playboy worth $100 million?

2. Make your list: Keep your little black book up to date by researching Forbes’ lists of the richest men, the world’s top hedgefund managers and Saudi princes. Make a list of the athletes that have just signed major contracts. Research sites that shows their annual and past salaries. Remember, this is all public information. Know how much money these men make BEFORE you even approach them.

3. Research. Do research on them. Search profiles to learn what they look like, age, place a nd date of birth, children, pets, etc. You want to be able to spot him from a mile away.

4. Stay organized: If you get caught dating more than one millionaire at a time, you’ll blow your cover and you’ll never be able to show your face at a major benefit again. Stay organized and avoid double booking. (*Don’t date millionaires in the same area code! Remember their circle/team is small.)

5 ... Become a stalker: Knowing the habits and schedules of your potential mates will make it easier to seduce them. Find out where they hang. Frequent the popular spots (i.e. restaurants, sporting events, charity events, clubs, lounges, study their businesses, favorite philanthropies, artists, music, etc.) Know popular vacation destinations and know when it’s off season. Google past events or birthdays they have sponsored. History repeats itself. If they sponsored or attended a golf tournament last year, they most likely will do the same this year. Google is a gold digger’s best friend!

6. Set up a fake business or money story to hide behind: No one can accuse you of being a gold digger if you’re already wealthy, can they? If you’re actually quite poor, come up with a story about a dead uncle who left you all of his money or a fake enterprise a la Wedding Crashers to give you a solid cover.

7. Get an invitation: Trying to sneak into a gala or the VIP room without an invite will call unnecessary attention to yourself and make everyone suspect your legitimacy as a rich, important somebody. Step on whoever you can to get a REAL invitation.

8. Get hired: Research shows that half of the millionaire men met their mates at work. Since the majority of them are in finance, investments, media and entertainment, real estate, oil & gas, and sports, start there! Go search the classifieds!

9. Join asmallworld.net: See if you can join this social networking site that’s reserved for the international jet setting group. You’ll meet new prey and will learn about the hottest parties to attend.

10. Browse millionairematch.com: Browse profiles of rich men to learn what kind of women they are interested in. Make a list of the most common traits then pretend to possess those traits when you meet a rich man. They will think you’re the woman they have always been looking for.

11. Before you ask someone their name, ask if they’ll buy you a drink: That way, you’ll know straight up if your potential sugar daddy is okay with spending money freely on you.

12. Go to auctions where there is a minimum bidding price: Scrape together the cash or tag along with a rich friend to an auction or fundraiser that requires each party go-er to spend a certain amount on tickets and bids.

13. Attend a charity event: Charity events are likely to be attended by these millionaires or billionaires. Rather than simply attending an event, it may be even better to be a keynote speaker or an organizer!

14. Become well-versed in issues of finance: If you’re only going to be talking with rich men, make sure you are current on the stock market, economy, and anything else high society or money-related.

15. Offer to pay for the tip: Tsk-tsk’ing your date away from paying the t ip while you whip out your roll of $5 bills will make you seem generous and independent. If you don’t at least pay for the tip, you risk looking like a mooch.

16. Wear lots of perfume, cologne, jewelry and outrageously fancy clothes: To blend in with the other rich people, of course. Be a class act. Act and dress appropriately. This makes it appear as if you can be seen with him in public. Be careful though. This rule can be a double edged sword. Don’t appear too rich because he may not want to spend money on you.

17. "Forget" to bring your credit card: If all you bring to the bars or to dinner is a few dollars, your date will have to pay for both of you.

18. Only pursue older men: They’re mainly the only ones with real money anyway.

19. Learn to play tennis/golf: Even if you don’t really know how to play tennis or golf, you should still try to hold your own against those rich socialites who were trained by the professionals. Remember, rich people like to play tennis and/or golf.

20. Act very smart: If are smart, great! Rich men like smart/educated women, they do not like dummies. They don’t want to be embarrassed around their rich friends. However, if you are not smart, pretend to be. Discuss what little education you have…but mainly highlight the challenging courses you took. Tell him you got an 'A' even if you didn’t. This shows that y ou have “some” knowledge.

21. Beg for more money: You’ll need a hefty allowance to shop for clothes, a nice car and lots of presents for yourself. Act needy!

22. Become intoxicated at each party you attend: This sort of behavior is actually encouraged at rich people events, so you’ll fit in quite well.

23. Become friends with other rich men or women…just in case: Even if you’re technically taken, you can still flirt with other rich men just in case something "happens" to your lover.

24. Always desire to own the newest model of everything: Show him that you like to be on the cutting edge by discussing the newest phone, latest clothes and all the best toys no one’s even heard of yet. Research these items so you can school him on how great these items are and why you should have them.

(crickets) Thoughts?